Zebith, your art is colorful, striking, and the sculptured paintings relate a fascinating story about your insects. It is wonderful you can tell such interesting stories visually and with words! You talk about the "comfortable part of my work," the fulcrum between the fears of success and failure. For me, this fulcrum represents 'belonging,' an ancient issue of being inside the glass or out. Having worked hard to overcome a childhood where I never felt I belonged, to create I must work doubly hard to move away from the center if the work is to be shared.
To the left, we have a fear of failure, driven by my relentless perfectionist nature. At its extreme, it is better to produce no work than incomplete or poor (in my eyes) work. Reinforced by low self-esteem, it can be a struggle to rein this force in.
To the right lies fear of success and the risk of alienating myself from everyone as the "miss-know-it-all" of yesteryear and "better dumb myself down to be liked" (never could manage that). The need to belong is a stern taskmaster.
So why do I even sit down to write? Why venture from the safe center where I spout the same opinions as my own? Why crawl out on the beam and risk exposure? Why am I doing that, even now? It is because I have known what it is like to have my voice taken from me and I hope to use my tools as a creative to inspire others to reclaim their voices. Even at the risk of success or failure.
It is artists like you who see the need for compassion and respect in the process of bringing to life something that never existed. Thank you for sharing your process with us.
Wow, thank YOU for sharing this heartfelt! Belonging. What a powerful addition to the thoughts that swirled while writing this post! It seems, from what you so eloquently suggest, that both the fear of success and fear of failure can isolate, both outside the “glass.” (The appearance of belonging vs feeling accepted and apart. And the simple strength of asking “why?" As an armor and a resistance for the sake of self, choosing risk, for reclamation! ...Courage really does have many paths. Much richness to ponder (and celebrate)! Thank you again.
Thank you for these kind words. They remind me that pause can include steady and soft-silence... possibly even more essential, they might be the catalyst for the shift?
SO, you present "pause" as this moment when one can listen WITHIN. And you bring it up so nicely as to how the habituated "move-forward !!! mindset" can silence the wisdom within. (our language does not readily lend itself to quiet or to within and you pretty much, start there...and have it arising, naturally). I've meditated (even did a 2 year silent retreat) and it was the way I was able to open the door to the feminine and to the wisdom within. So I really like when someone can bring that to the table, to a conversation. Especially a conversation of right/wrong or fear of" "this" AND "that". And especially on the topic so dear to our cultural "values" as success and failure. Either/or....is all that is usually brought up when engaging such topics and I know (oh so well) that right/wrong and either/or just isn't the core reality, there. Through your pace and your words, I connect to a steadiness that I find to be "true". I do massage (injury work and Tibetan BodyMind) and I'm listening for what supports the resolution. It IS the pause and it IS the softness falling into quiet, that provides the foundation for resolution and is what fuels a steady nervous system. That steady nervous system will always feel all the sides of any issue and unify them in some way. (Or so, that's how I understand it). AND you express it in a way that each of us gets to "watch" you resolve and unify it....and through your words (and the pace of them) we make contact with that steadiness (called confidence) and we feel affirmed and ready to do it ourselves. You may not have had much conscious awareness of your steady nervous system as you communicated, which is just fine. You know about the wisdom within, and you brought that to the "table".
Zebith, your art is colorful, striking, and the sculptured paintings relate a fascinating story about your insects. It is wonderful you can tell such interesting stories visually and with words! You talk about the "comfortable part of my work," the fulcrum between the fears of success and failure. For me, this fulcrum represents 'belonging,' an ancient issue of being inside the glass or out. Having worked hard to overcome a childhood where I never felt I belonged, to create I must work doubly hard to move away from the center if the work is to be shared.
To the left, we have a fear of failure, driven by my relentless perfectionist nature. At its extreme, it is better to produce no work than incomplete or poor (in my eyes) work. Reinforced by low self-esteem, it can be a struggle to rein this force in.
To the right lies fear of success and the risk of alienating myself from everyone as the "miss-know-it-all" of yesteryear and "better dumb myself down to be liked" (never could manage that). The need to belong is a stern taskmaster.
So why do I even sit down to write? Why venture from the safe center where I spout the same opinions as my own? Why crawl out on the beam and risk exposure? Why am I doing that, even now? It is because I have known what it is like to have my voice taken from me and I hope to use my tools as a creative to inspire others to reclaim their voices. Even at the risk of success or failure.
It is artists like you who see the need for compassion and respect in the process of bringing to life something that never existed. Thank you for sharing your process with us.
Wow, thank YOU for sharing this heartfelt! Belonging. What a powerful addition to the thoughts that swirled while writing this post! It seems, from what you so eloquently suggest, that both the fear of success and fear of failure can isolate, both outside the “glass.” (The appearance of belonging vs feeling accepted and apart. And the simple strength of asking “why?" As an armor and a resistance for the sake of self, choosing risk, for reclamation! ...Courage really does have many paths. Much richness to ponder (and celebrate)! Thank you again.
is so nicely said and Zebith's sentence structure conveys a steadiness and a quiet.
Thank you for these kind words. They remind me that pause can include steady and soft-silence... possibly even more essential, they might be the catalyst for the shift?
SO, you present "pause" as this moment when one can listen WITHIN. And you bring it up so nicely as to how the habituated "move-forward !!! mindset" can silence the wisdom within. (our language does not readily lend itself to quiet or to within and you pretty much, start there...and have it arising, naturally). I've meditated (even did a 2 year silent retreat) and it was the way I was able to open the door to the feminine and to the wisdom within. So I really like when someone can bring that to the table, to a conversation. Especially a conversation of right/wrong or fear of" "this" AND "that". And especially on the topic so dear to our cultural "values" as success and failure. Either/or....is all that is usually brought up when engaging such topics and I know (oh so well) that right/wrong and either/or just isn't the core reality, there. Through your pace and your words, I connect to a steadiness that I find to be "true". I do massage (injury work and Tibetan BodyMind) and I'm listening for what supports the resolution. It IS the pause and it IS the softness falling into quiet, that provides the foundation for resolution and is what fuels a steady nervous system. That steady nervous system will always feel all the sides of any issue and unify them in some way. (Or so, that's how I understand it). AND you express it in a way that each of us gets to "watch" you resolve and unify it....and through your words (and the pace of them) we make contact with that steadiness (called confidence) and we feel affirmed and ready to do it ourselves. You may not have had much conscious awareness of your steady nervous system as you communicated, which is just fine. You know about the wisdom within, and you brought that to the "table".
Mary,
"...we make contact with that steadiness (called confidence) and we feel affirmed...". Beautifully said and an amazing process.
Good article and I love Zebith's work (and her unique name!).