Kill the killjoy - train up your inner coach
"I went from being a fearful writer to a joyful one"--Corinne, intimacy coach
Today my episode of “The Midlife Momentum Podcast” went live. I really enjoyed my conversation with Debbie Harbec, a therapist based in Canada. We focused on the benefits of Imaginative Storm writing for people who don’t consider themselves writers—especially, how it helps transform your inner critic into your inner coach.
The world would be a happier place if we learned in school how to be our own champions. Instead, it’s the opposite: we’re confronted with standards that may have nothing to do with our strengths or our interests, and told we’re failing if we don’t meet them. Result: most of us develop inner critics that chastise us viciously whenever we fall short.
Worst of all, we may not even be falling short, objectively. Many inner critics hold standards that are impossible to meet, and they hardly ever shut up. This makes for a dissatisfied, anxious, brittle personality—and, often, a body stressed into illness.
Nobody hires a business critic or a tennis critic. If you want to be good at something, you hire a coach: someone who recognizes and builds on your strengths, and addresses your weaknesses with a carrot not a stick. When you focus on what you’re good at, you’re energized and motivated. When you constantly hear that you’re not good enough, you quit if you can and get depressed if you can’t.
Your inner critic eats away at your confidence. It makes you anxious when you attempt something outside your comfort zone. It stops you attempting new things, because you fear failure.
This doesn’t just apply to writing. It applies to living in general. I believe this is a primary reason why so many people report that Imaginative Storm writing enriches their life.
How can you possibly write anything good in 10 minutes? It seems ridiculous, so immediately your old standards are taken off the table. The goal is simple: to surprise yourself. Sure, there’s still a spectrum of achievement, but you’re pretty much guaranteed to get at least one little jolt of dopamine when you discover an arresting image, a fresh combination of words, a new insight, in what you wrote. And the more you do it, the better you become at letting go of the result. And the better you become at letting go, the more you surprise yourself, the more satisfaction you feel, and the more confidence you gain.
It’s more than confidence in your writing. It’s confidence in your ability to venture into the unknown.
Whether it’s in business or parenting or life choices, any breakthrough involves venturing into the unknown. A fierce inner critic wants to keep you safe in your current cocoon, however restricting or suffocating it is. An empowered inner coach gives you courage to take risks and do things you haven’t done before.
If you’d like to get a taste of what writing into the unknown feels like, join us later today, or any Thursday at 3 pm PT / 6 pm ET for the Prompt of the Week on Zoom. It’s free—and it’s a powerful way to turn that inner voice from a killjoy into a source of confidence, motivation, and energy.
There’s no need to register, just click here. You can always find the Zoom link in the footer at imaginativestorm.com.
I love this line from this post: The goal is simple: to surprise yourself. ...Brilliant.